Thursday, September 8, 2011

Musings on Parshat Ki Seitzei

Following are some of the ideas, insights and interpretations that emerge from our weekly Chumash learning group at the Young Israel of Oceanside, Long Island. We cite sources when possible. Some of our interpretations may derive from ideas we may have seen elsewhere, possibly without attribution. Or we may simply have forgotten the source. For this we apologize. We invite your comments, observations and participation.

OVERVIEW:

74 Mitzvos…Female War Captives…Firstborn Rights…Disobedient Son…Hanging & Burial…Restoring Lost Property…Cross-Dressing…Sending Away the Mother Bird…Guardrails for Roof…Forbidden Mixtures…Defaming a Bride…Violations of Intimacy… Prohibited Marriages…Sanctity of The Camp…Refuge for Fleeing Slaves…Modesty…On Charging Neshech(Interest)…Fulfilling Pledges…Employee   Rights…Divorce…Newlyweds… Debt Collection… Kidnapping Jewish Person…Tzara’as Lesions…Paying Wages On Time…Testimony of Relatives…Treatment of Convert, Widow, and Orphan…Generosity to the landless…Against Excessive Punishment…Kindness to Animals…Levirate Marriage (Yibum)…Penalty for Embarrassment…Honest Weights and Measures…Remembering Amalek

“Ki Seitzei Lamelchama aal Oyvecha: if (or when) you go out to wage (a non-obligatory) war against your enemies…”
This Parsha is always read during the month of Elul, a time for spiritual introspection and repentance. The Lubavitcher Rebbi, citing the Zohar--who points out that the word Lamelchama (to war) is derived from the Hebrew word for bread--sees the deeper meaning of this opening verse: When you (or your soul) go out (from its heavenly setting into the body) to fight the eternal battle between good and evil in the world (or material vs. spiritual), be prepared. Arm yourself with the knowledge and the performance of Mitzvos that have been and will be presented.


The Rebellious Son

After detailing laws relating to the capture of an attractive woman during war and then the right of the First Born to a double inheritance, the Torah introduces us to Ben Sorrer Umorah, a stubborn, rebellious son who has “turned away from the proper derech” by refusing to accept the authority of both Hashem and his parents. His parents warn him about his behavior in front of witnesses (Rashi). If he still steals and continues his extreme anti-social behavior (gluttony and drunkenness), the parents bring him to Court where he is judged, then stoned to death. The punishment is designed to …” clean out Evil from your midst and all Israel shall hear and fear.”

The Sages tell us that the son is put to death not because of his current behavior but al shaym sofo,for what he will eventually become (a thief to finance his gluttony and drunkenness). The severe restrictions placed by the Rabbis on the implementation of this law (e.g., both parents must be alive, both must look exactly the same and have the same voice) led Rav Shimon to conclude (in Sanhedrin 71a), that this law never happened and never will happen but is written in the Torah for us to study and receive reward!

Rashi says that the existence of a rebellious son is an outgrowth of the previously described conditions --bringing home a woman captive and the firstborn’s entitlement. Saralee Boshnack elaborates that the environment of favorites and favoritism often spawns this neurotic, anti-social behavior in the rejected one. The Torah presents one possible (extreme) outcome of a family permissiveness that tolerates/encourages children to openly mock and hate parents in both word and deed.

Or perhaps what we are to learn is the need for both parents to be of one mind when it comes to raising their children. By studying the extreme situation where they were not, we are able to learn about the more common garden variety issues of parenting (similar to behavioral researchers’ study of psychosis to understand neurosis).The reward we are to receive from studying this topic are the insights we gain that help improve our parenting skills.

An alternate approach suggests that by studying this text we may arrive at the realization that there are times when parents are helpless, no matter how good their parenting skills. One example is siring a child who is born with a chemical/hormonal imbalance or a defective genetic makeup (“bad seed”). Then the al shaym sofo could be understood as a euphemism for the inevitable and irreversible behavior of a child with genetic behavioral issues.

On Sheluach Hakan

“If you come across a bird's nest on any tree or on the ground, and it contains baby birds or eggs, then, if the mother is sitting on the chicks or eggs, you must not take the mother along with her young. You must first chase away the mother, and only then may you take the young. [If you do this] you will have it good, and will live long.”

How are we to understand this Mitzva? Rashi, quoting the Talmud (Hulin 142a), points out that if for an easy Mitzva like this (does not involve any monetary outlay) we are promised a good long life, imagine how much more reward we will get for performing the hard Mitzvos!  It is noteworthy that the reward for doing this “easy” Mitzva is exactly the same reward for honoring one’s father and mother, which is the most difficult commandment to fulfill!

What is the purpose of this Mitzva? Ibn Ezra says it would be an act of cruelty to remove (and presumably eat) the mother bird and her eggs. The aim of this Mitzva is to mold our persona. The Torah’s desire to improve our behavior in dealing with animals--and ultimately with fellow humans-- is also manifest in the prohibition of slaughtering a mother cow and it’s calve on the same day and in the prohibition of cooking a baby goat in its mother’s milk (mentioned three times in the Torah).

Rambam focuses on the idea of Tzaar Baal Chaim (avoidance of the pain the mother bird would have experienced) had she been there when her eggs were taken. The Talmud cites a statement that appears to be at odds with this approach: if, during his prayers, the Chazzan asks Hashem to be merciful like He is with the Kan Tzipor, we stop him, because we cannot assume that this Mitzva exists only because of His compassion. Rambam answers that this is a minority opinion.

On a psychological level,  the sending away of the mother bird  may  express the ultimate truth  that we humans  ultimately  need to leave the nest (“cut the mothers apron strings”) in order to keep our male/son-ness; become assertive (“habanem Tekach lach”) and experience a healthy emotional maturation (L’maan Yaarechun Yamecha). Manya Berenholz thinks that Yaarechun Yamecha means that the individual gets the opportunity to move on to the next stage of his emotional life. Control and assertiveness are part of the growing-up process alluded to both here and in Kebud Av V’aim. Loss of a parent prematurely stunts the working- through process of this complex parent-child relationship; prevents movement to the next emotional level; and often results in the individual’s attempt (on an unconscious level) to relive past events to gain control.

Rabbi Benjamin Yuden of Fairlawn, N.J. cites the Chavos Yaer who refers to an idea found in the Zohar:  When Hashem sees the mother bird in pain as it flits from place to place, it evokes His Mercy --which then spreads to Jewish people in Exile where it is needed. Building on this concept, Sandra Gottesman  concludes that each of us needs to place ourselves in a time or place or situation that can evoke Hashem’s Mercy. The month of Elul and the upcoming Aseres Yemai T’shuva are the perfect times for reflection and introspection in the hope that by changing ourselves for the better  (Tshuva), Hashem will unleash His powerful, positive forces of Mercy in the world.

Sandra  Gottesman observes that what is easy for one person may be difficult for another. We all need to observe all the Mitzvos, recognizing that none is unimportant and ease of observance is relative and influenced by time, place and other considerations.

Perhaps the difference between what constitutes a hard or easy Mitzva is  planning. A “hard” mitzvah requires forethought, planning and repetition. Practicing the hard ones and the easy ones we can control (like greeting one another) helps us get to the point where we are so comfortable with our changed  religious persona that we are then able to respond reflexively, effectively and appropriately to the unexpected  ones like Sheluach Hakan, an “easy” Mitzva.

Rabbi H.L. Berenholz



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